Sorry this is so long, but there's a lot of information to report back. The office visit was very productive and informative, we were there for over an hour. They separated mom & dad for the cognitive/depression exams. I went with mom...
She was asked to repeat 3 words: apple pie, basketball, kitty cat. She couldn't understand kitty cat (she thought the nurse said city cat) so it was shortened to cat, which mom changed to cats. She tried 4 or 5 times to repeat the words as the nurse said them, but had trouble with the middle word and said apple pie and cats several times, and couldn't repeat all 3 words in the correct order on her own until about the 6th time. So, she had trouble just learning the words.
Then she had to draw the face of a clock inside a big circle on paper. She was told not to draw the hands, which she preceded to do, then couldn't understand what "draw" a clock meant. We told her several times to just write the numbers of the clock inside the circle. She was very confused by the directions and started at 1 at the top, and got to 5, which she wrote where the 3 is on a clock, then stopped writing the numbers. The nurse asked her to put in the hands at 10 past 11. She couldn't do that either. She asked for help but the nurse told her to just do it the way she thinks it should look. I took a look at the finished product and it looked like she put in more than 2 hands and they were no where near the correct positions. Nurse then asked her to repeat those 3 words, and she only remembered apple pie ;(
I was asked to step outside during the depression evaluation. When I went back in the room mom said she told the nurse she was very happy. So I'm not sure how that went. While we waited for the doc to come in mom said she had wanted Dr A. in NH to do these tests, but I told her we couldn't wait, that we had to take care of her medical needs now and it wasn't good to wait.
Doc asked, How would you like things to be in 12 months? She said she wanted to go home to Massachusetts, then said NH, then said a place they go where there are lots of people who live near them and they help each other. She couldn't remember FL or Treelakes and was frustrated by that. Doc recommended I get them involved at a local senior center; he wants them out meeting people and making friends.
He told mom that they should continue their plan to go east "to tidy things up" but that they need to come back here. Mom said she wanted to go back to FL and live independently. He told her that was "unrealistic" and "you are fooling yourself" to think that. There was no moving back to FL. He was very gentle and kind with her, she did cry though. She asked why at 80 years old she couldn't decide where she was going to live, and he told her that she was very lucky to have her children helping her, and that she needed to listen to us because we loved her and had her best interests in mind, and that he hoped he would be lucky enough to have his daughter guiding him when he was 80.
He talked about how he moved to CA and it took a year to like it, and now he loves it. He told her she needed to start a new chapter in her life, that different generations shouldn't live together, it wasn't good for any of us, and that they could have more independence and feel productive if living in Assisted Living. Her EKG last month was abnormal. He needs results of prior tests to make a comparison. This is on his list of concerns but not high right now. She gained 4 pounds - 128 now. He may consider some new meds for her but wants to get blood work and brain CT scan done first.
Dad: we found him wandering in the hall - he left his exam room instead of waiting for us/doctor like he was told. He told the doctor that he was confused because he didn't remember that he had a doctor appt today (!), of course I had told him and he had already been with the nurse doing the cognitive test and his vitals. BTW- I got a peek at his clock, and he had done it correctly!! He put in the 12, 3, 6 and 9 and drew the hands at 10 past 11! Not sure how he did on the 3 words but he couldn't remember any of them in the car on way home - mom remembered apple.
Dad has a hernia, very common, (no sign of stone on the scan) which means that part of the intestine is pushing through the muscle wall in the lower right pelvic area, can slide in and out. Options are surgery, which is effective but risky, or wearing a hernia truss (compression belt) during the daytime, a partial solution. Doc wants to try truss first and see how that goes. Dad's blood work was ok & stable. Doc ordered brain CT scans for both of them, and a fasting blood test for mom - a full panel. He didn't address dad's driving, or his managing the sale of the cottage, which I had brought up with him & mom. I asked about Assisted Living in front of dad, he told doc he was against that. The doctor told them both that they are in transition right now and that they need to open their mind to the possibility of Assisted Living.
They go back in a month for a follow up, which keeps them here until about mid-June. We're going to Mothers day tea on Saturday at the Assisted living. Also - Mom can't grasp that Hearst Castle is south of me. I've corrected her many times, and even showed her on a map. She keeps saying north, then last week started saying it was in Canada (?) ;( Both were very subdued the rest of the day - I think mom was surprised at how poorly she did on the tests.
Then she had to draw the face of a clock inside a big circle on paper. She was told not to draw the hands, which she preceded to do, then couldn't understand what "draw" a clock meant. We told her several times to just write the numbers of the clock inside the circle. She was very confused by the directions and started at 1 at the top, and got to 5, which she wrote where the 3 is on a clock, then stopped writing the numbers. The nurse asked her to put in the hands at 10 past 11. She couldn't do that either. She asked for help but the nurse told her to just do it the way she thinks it should look. I took a look at the finished product and it looked like she put in more than 2 hands and they were no where near the correct positions. Nurse then asked her to repeat those 3 words, and she only remembered apple pie ;(
I was asked to step outside during the depression evaluation. When I went back in the room mom said she told the nurse she was very happy. So I'm not sure how that went. While we waited for the doc to come in mom said she had wanted Dr A. in NH to do these tests, but I told her we couldn't wait, that we had to take care of her medical needs now and it wasn't good to wait.
Doc asked, How would you like things to be in 12 months? She said she wanted to go home to Massachusetts, then said NH, then said a place they go where there are lots of people who live near them and they help each other. She couldn't remember FL or Treelakes and was frustrated by that. Doc recommended I get them involved at a local senior center; he wants them out meeting people and making friends.
He told mom that they should continue their plan to go east "to tidy things up" but that they need to come back here. Mom said she wanted to go back to FL and live independently. He told her that was "unrealistic" and "you are fooling yourself" to think that. There was no moving back to FL. He was very gentle and kind with her, she did cry though. She asked why at 80 years old she couldn't decide where she was going to live, and he told her that she was very lucky to have her children helping her, and that she needed to listen to us because we loved her and had her best interests in mind, and that he hoped he would be lucky enough to have his daughter guiding him when he was 80.
He talked about how he moved to CA and it took a year to like it, and now he loves it. He told her she needed to start a new chapter in her life, that different generations shouldn't live together, it wasn't good for any of us, and that they could have more independence and feel productive if living in Assisted Living. Her EKG last month was abnormal. He needs results of prior tests to make a comparison. This is on his list of concerns but not high right now. She gained 4 pounds - 128 now. He may consider some new meds for her but wants to get blood work and brain CT scan done first.
Dad: we found him wandering in the hall - he left his exam room instead of waiting for us/doctor like he was told. He told the doctor that he was confused because he didn't remember that he had a doctor appt today (!), of course I had told him and he had already been with the nurse doing the cognitive test and his vitals. BTW- I got a peek at his clock, and he had done it correctly!! He put in the 12, 3, 6 and 9 and drew the hands at 10 past 11! Not sure how he did on the 3 words but he couldn't remember any of them in the car on way home - mom remembered apple.
Dad has a hernia, very common, (no sign of stone on the scan) which means that part of the intestine is pushing through the muscle wall in the lower right pelvic area, can slide in and out. Options are surgery, which is effective but risky, or wearing a hernia truss (compression belt) during the daytime, a partial solution. Doc wants to try truss first and see how that goes. Dad's blood work was ok & stable. Doc ordered brain CT scans for both of them, and a fasting blood test for mom - a full panel. He didn't address dad's driving, or his managing the sale of the cottage, which I had brought up with him & mom. I asked about Assisted Living in front of dad, he told doc he was against that. The doctor told them both that they are in transition right now and that they need to open their mind to the possibility of Assisted Living.
They go back in a month for a follow up, which keeps them here until about mid-June. We're going to Mothers day tea on Saturday at the Assisted living. Also - Mom can't grasp that Hearst Castle is south of me. I've corrected her many times, and even showed her on a map. She keeps saying north, then last week started saying it was in Canada (?) ;( Both were very subdued the rest of the day - I think mom was surprised at how poorly she did on the tests.
FABULOUS. Thank you so much. I read it out loud to my friend here in the office and we both laughed and we both cried. It is so helpful for all of us to be doing this. I can't help feeling really sad for both of them. It is so scary.
I still say that we should write a book. Is anyone keeping these emails, including the ones that Frank & I did last summer from dad's surgery and recovery? I think Frank sent them all out to us so I will look for that, but don't think I have kept everything since then.
Also, it sounds like they won't be coming back until a little later in June due to their follow up appointments.