June 2009 Archives

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What's the fastest growing segment of the population? According to Dr. Laura Mosqueda, Director of Geriatrics at the UC Irvine Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect, it's 85 year-olds. Since this same demographic is so prone to dementia, you have all the components for elder abuse.

Maybe you're thinking of institutions like nursing homes, but "the vast majority of elder abuse occurs in private homes and the perpetrators typically are spouses or adult children". Surprised?

She and her colleagues have made hundreds of house calls with Orange County Adult Protective Services to look for signs of elder abuse. But that begs the question: is that a bruise because the elderly bruise easily, or is it abuse?

Assisted living doesn't look so bad. Here they are settled into their own place, making new friends and all of us siblings assured they're getting their meds correctly. Whew! What an ordeal it's been!

They've been visiting for 12 weeks, since Valentines Day. They came for a visit that had some business issues to deal with, like a new Last Will and Testament, a Living Will and a Power of Attorney. Everyone agreed those issues needed resolution, but then it's been one health calamity after another. An accident and pneumonia for Mom, a hernia then a heart stent followed by an infection for Dad. Doesn't sound like much as I write this list of ailments, but combined with their increasing dementia it's made for a difficult time for the siblings.

No matter how many times I answered their questions, "'I'm homesick; why can't we go home?" by the next day they just couldn't recall what I'd said, so round 2 would begin, each iteration a little bit more argumentative, followed by growing resentment and obstinate behavior. They were no fun to live with, nor to visit.

Then a crisis hit. Dad complaining of chest pains meant a trip to the emergency room. After more than a couple of exciting moments, he was out, but moving back in with my sister's family wasn't a suitable next step. He'd need more supervision and care; it turned out to be the deciding factor in favor of assisted living.

My mother moved in while Dad was still in the hospital. We knew he'd go wherever she went. She loved it as we thought she would. The social activities lead to making new friends and from there, life works as you'd expect; she was happy. An anti-anxiety prescription helped to calm her nerves; some of us regretted we hadn't focused on this earlier.

Last week as they settled in, it was time to revisit their doctor and get the results of their cognitive tests. We knew Dad had suffered mini strokes before, at least one, so that was no surprise; likewise his age related brain atrophy. But Mom's brain scan showed several mini strokes; that was news. The doctor adding that "things will only get worse". Mom found that upsetting.